LETTING GO OF THE ONE WE LOVE 

                I am convinced that many times our loved ones are forced to linger longer on their beds of suffering because we refuse to let the Lord take them Home. Instead of seeking the will of God, we demand that the Lord hear our prayers and do what we want Him to do. As a result, our loved ones continue to needlessly suffer for many days, until finally we are not able to bear the sight of their pain and misery, and we release them into the will of God. As soon as we do that, it seems like they “fly away” to their heavenly mansion. The Lord is able to take them Home. Their suffering is over.  

                Why are we hanging on to them? Is it because we think it is best for them to live longer? Or is it because we cannot bear the thought of losing them? Some of us would rather hang on to our loved ones, no matter how much they are suffering, or how mentally handicapped they are, than to live the rest of our lives without them. I am afraid this is not because we love them so much, but because we love ourselves.

                Our prayers can hold the Lord back from taking a loved one Home.  

                One of our End-Time Handmaidens was serving the Lord in Taiwan for several weeks. During that time her husband, who had been perfectly healthy when she left home, unexpectedly died of a heart attack. She caught the first possible flight back to the United States. She was shocked and grieved to think that God would take her husband while she was serving the Lord. When she asked her pastor, “Why would God take Bob while I was on the mission field?” He wisely answered her, “Because if you would have been at home, you would never have let God take him.” She was a powerful intercessor, and like Moses, could move the heart of God.  Often God answers our prayers, but He sends leanness to our souls because it is not what is the best for us (Psalm 106:15). 

                The story is told about the death of Smith Wigglesworth’s wife, Jane, whom he affectionately called “Polly.” In 1913, while she was on a preaching engagement she suddenly died. Her body was brought back to her home by her friends. Brother Wigglesworth told them to lay her on the bed. When they left he began to pray. In the name of Jesus he rebuked death and ordered it to give her up. Polly opened her eyes and looked straight at him.
                “Why have you done this, Smith?’ she asked. 

                “Polly, I need you,” he said. 

                “Smith, my work is finished,” she answered. “God wants me.” 

                They talked for quite some time; then Wigglesworth said, “All right, I will let you go.” 

                She lay back upon the pillow, and went with the Lord. He bowed to the will of God. From that day on the anointing was upon his life, and he became one of the world’s most renowned men of faith and power. 

                God knows what is best. Let us release our loved one to Him. 

                I love the poem by an unknown poet that expresses the petition of the one whom God has called into His Presence: 

MAY I GO NOW?

May I go now?

Do you think the time is right?

May I say good-bye to pain-filled days,

And long sleepless nights?

I’ve lived my life and done my best,

An example I tried to be;

So, can I take that step beyond,

And set my spirit free?

I didn’t want to go at first,

I fought with all my might;

But something seems to draw me now

To a warm and loving light.

I want to go, I really do;

It’s difficult to stay;

But I will try as best I can

To live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me

And share your love and fears.

I know you’re sad and afraid,

Because I see your tears.

I’ll not be far, I promise that,

And hope you’ll always know

That my spirit will be close to you

Wherever you may go.

Thank you dear for loving me,

You know I love you, too,

That’s why it’s hard to say good-bye,

And end this life with you.

 So kiss me now, just one more time,

And let me hear you say,

Because you care so much for me,

You’ll let me go today.

                                                                                — Susan A. Jackson

                While the above poem expresses a pure and good heart, there is something sad about it. The writer doesn’t seem to know the Lord Jesus Christ as their personal Saviour, nor to have hope of meeting Him after death. She only speaks of “a warm and loving light.”

                 While suffering is a difficult thing to experience, it helps the sick one to let go of the world. And it also helps their loved ones to let go of them. Perhaps this is one reason God has to permit some people to suffer. 

(pages 40-47)
MY FATHER’S “BUTTERFLY WINGS”  

                Let me tell you about when my father passed away, and how he got his “butterfly wings.” 

                I remember my father as being a tall, well-built, strong and handsome man. I was always very proud of him. I was his only daughter, so there were close ties between us. I still can see his smile! I can see his tears too! 

                He came to India to visit me there when I was raising a Gospel Tent in North India. After he returned home he was not feeling well. He started having intestinal problems. I was ministering in Germany when I heard that he had cancer. I immediately wanted to go home, but the Lord spoke to me to tarry for a while. I was taking Bibles behind the Iron Curtain, and this work was very important.  

                Then one day the Lord spoke clearly, and told me that He was going to take my father Home. He told me that I should return home and stay with him for the last days of his life. He also said that I was not to ask Him to heal my father, because this was his time to go Home to God.  

                When I walked into his bedroom, where he lay on his bed, I was shocked by his appearance; in the short while since I had last seen him, he had deteriorated so badly. He was thin and yellow. But we were happy to be together. I helped mother take care of him. He had no pain, but he was very weak. My father had once been so strong that he could lift a one thousand pound object, but now he was so weak he could not ring a little bell. He never felt any pain, and never needed a pain pill, even though his body was full of cancer, but as he lay there on his bed I hated to see him so weak and helpless. He could hardly take any nourishment, and mother had no strength to lift him. Jim flew in from California to help care for him. We were not married yet, but he became a nurse to my father. His gentleness and love was a gift from God to my father, my mother and me. 

                I was becoming anxious, because my father was lingering on. I had made plans to minister in India, and I feared that I would have to break them. I began to ask the Lord to please take Daddy Home. The load was getting heavy.  

                Then the Lord spoke to me very sternly, and said, “Don’t you dare ask me to take your father Home one day before it is his time to go!” Then God showed me a butterfly in the making. It was in the cocoon, and was waiting for its wings to develop. If one were to speed things up and break open the cocoon, he would only destroy the creative works of God, and the butterfly would never have its beautiful coloured wings, nor would it be able to fly. God showed me that it was through his suffering that my father was being perfected spiritually, and made in the likeness of Jesus. The Lord told me to speak to my father and share what He had shown me, because my father was worried that his sickness was keeping me from doing the Lord’s work. He knew my great love for India, and my burden to return there.  

                That morning, I knelt beside my father’s bed and told him what was in my heart, “Daddy, I feel you are anxious for the Lord to take you Home, so that I will be free to return to the mission field, but God told me that we must all wait for God’s perfect time, for He is doing a work in your life. He is making you into a beautiful butterfly. Through your suffering a work of grace and perfecting is being accomplished in your life which could not be accomplished any other way. We must all be patient, Daddy.”  

                The tears rolled out of his eyes, and down his cheeks. He nodded his head slowly, and said, “Daughter, you are right!” Then, patting my hand, he added, “Never stop preaching the Gospel! The only thing that is worth while in this world is to save souls. Everything else is rubbish.” 

                Several days after that I saw he was struggling to breathe. I called his doctor and asked him to please come and see my father, and bring some kind of oxygen. The doctor refused to come because it was the beginning of the Labour Day Week-end (we were living in Niagara Falls, NY then). He said, “If you want to help your father, call an ambulance and take him to the hospital.”  

                I tried to reason with him, “But my father doesn’t want to go back to the hospital, my mother and I want to take care of him here at home.”  

                This angered the doctor; he said, “You will cause him terrible suffering for weeks. He will only get worse and worse until he will die in agony. I tell you, get him to the hospital!” 

                 As I hung up the phone, I looked to God, and I said to Him, “Lord, that is what he says, now Lord, You will contradict that man.” 

                I went to my father’s bedside, sat down with a hymn book, and started singing about Heaven. My mother joined me, and so did Jim. We sang song after song for about thirty minutes; and as I was looking at Daddy, I saw him “fall asleep” in Jesus. My mother did not notice it; neither did Jim. Mother stood up to move his feet, and as she did, she said, “Ed, are your feet cold?” They were covered. She came around to the other side of his bed. She didn’t realize he was no more with us. Only I knew!  

                Softly I said, “Mom, Dad is gone!” As I looked up, I “saw” in the spirit, his spirit ascending to God. He paused in the corner of the room to look back at us, and I said to him, “Thank you, Daddy, for praying for me when I was lost. You never gave up hope that I would one day be saved!” 

                I went back to the phone, and called the doctor again. “My father has just expired,” I said. Hardly an hour had passed since I had last spoken to him, when he had told me that my father would suffer for many weeks. He couldn’t believe it. He probably didn’t! He said, “I’ll be right over.”  

                As I waited for the doctor, I asked God, “Lord, why didn’t Daddy have to suffer, like the doctor said he would?” 

                The Lord answered me with words I will never forget, “Because your father never, ever caused anyone else to suffer by speaking evil of them, or hurting them with cruel words. He never spread gossip, and he never even shared the truth about someone if he felt it would be a bad report of that person. He caused no one pain with his tongue, so I never let him suffer.” 

                When the doctor had finished examining him and signing the death certificate, he called the funeral director to come and get my father’s body. He was stunned! As he sat there, by the telephone, I said to him, “You said my father would suffer, but he didn’t. I will tell you why.” And then I told him what God had told me. He shook his head, it was beyond him. I am quite sure he was Jewish. I believe it was a testimony to him of the greatness of our Jesus. 

                That was in September of 1972. I still miss my father today. But, I know that we will meet again, and he will be well and strong and a handsome young man — like he was when my mother fell in love with him. And he will have a beauty in Christ that he never had before he suffered. He will have his “butterfly wings.” 

                That is why euthanasia is so wrong! We do not give God time to make “butterflies.” It is in the days of pain and suffering that God does a work in us which we would not permit Him to do during our healthy days. When we are young and strong and healthy we think we have forever to prepare for Eternity. But when God puts us on the sick bed, we have time to look into our hearts and be honest with ourselves. We give God, and ourselves, time to make us beautiful for all Eternity.  

                My life is but a weaving

                Between my Lord and me,

                I cannot choose the colours

                He worketh steadily.

                Ofttimes He weaveth sorrow,

                And I in foolish pride

                Forget He sees the upper

                And I, the underside.

                Not ’til each loom is silent,

                And the shuttles cease to fly

                Shall God unfold the canvas

                And explain the reason why.

                The dark threads are as needful

                In the Weaver’s skillful hand

                As the threads of gold and silver

                In the pattern He has planned.

                                                                                — Grant Colfax Tullar

 (pages 50-61)

                The teachings of Jesus warn us very seriously that the time to prepare for the welfare of our eternal soul is while we are on earth. That does not give us any hope of praying our loved ones out of purgatory, as is sometimes taught by Church theologians.

                The emphasis is on accepting salvation while we are alive. Your soul is that “God-life” which has been given to you by God, Himself. Jesus warned that it is possible for a person to gain the whole world and lose his own soul. He also asked, “What shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matthew 16:26).

                 The Word of God also warns us to be concerned about the salvation of those who do not know the Lord as their Saviour. The Holy Spirit wants us to witness to them. One of the greatest ministries is that of being a hospital chaplain.

                 When I lived in Hong Kong, one year I dedicated the Lent season to minister to the sick and dying in the hospitals. It was a very rewarding experience and gave me much joy, though it was difficult to see so much suffering. 

                We can rescue people from the flames of Hell in the last hours and moments of their lives by telling them about Jesus’ saving grace; and we can help them make their first steps toward Heaven. 

                Dear reader, if you have never accepted Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, stop right here and pray this prayer: 

THE SINNER’S PRAYER